Love is not a mere feeling.


Where love is active, sin is absent. Sin consists in a [a] failure to love, [b] in not loving sufficiently, [c] in loving badly. It is possible for you to love all men, for love does not mean mere feeling but above all willing. It means to will the good of others, of all others without conditions. Yet, you may say to yourself, I loathe so and so. I simply can’t stand him. Well, you need not give up. Feelings of antipathy are instinctive. See your feelings for what they are. It is no point trying to pretend you feel differently that you really do. Accept your instinctive reaction as a clear indication that you are human and so you have weaknesses. Then, seek out the good in the other person. Try with all your will to wish him good.
Intelligence must hold the upper hand if you are to beat your antipathy. To love is actually to do. What you do to onother shows that you love him or hate him. You can harbor feelings of repugnance and still afford a smile, shake a hand, answer questions, give a hand and so forth. Love is not in the level of feelings even though it is expressed there. It is in the level of intelligence and action. To love a person is in some mysterious ways, to call him/her to life. If you admit that you do not love a person [I am not saying liking], you simply mean you are not doing good to him/her. Then, the bad person is the one who either refuses to do good or deliberately chooses to do bad. The person you do not love is not bad. You are simply saying that you stand out as exampleText Box: My point in all this: God did not command us to like. God has commanded us to love. of ‘badness’ among people.
If you wait until you are moved by feeling before loving another, you will love but few. You certainly will not love your enemies. The command to love your enemy is an impossible statement for you. Love, I am trying to say here, is not the result of instinct but rather involves conscious choice of the will directing us towards others and towards the gift of ourselves to them. Your love is too often clouded with self-love. Those who tell you that they love you and you only are people to avoid. Learn  to lose yourself and to forget yourself: your love will become more pure, more universal, more authentic, and more Christian.
Desire, admiration, feeling can move you to self-giving but these are not in themselves love. So, the guy or gal you admire might be seen only as an object of gratification but not a person to really love. If you want nothing more that hold her your harms, to kiss her lips, if you would do everything to possess her body, this isn’t love. It’s infatuation, lust, desire. Love, we have seen, is what we do. We give an helping hand to a granny, that is love. We say consoling words to the sick, that is love. We give a meal or clothing or shelter to the needy, that is love.
My point in all this: God did not command us to like. God has commanded us to love. That, we can say without fear of contradiction, is possible. It is possible to love all without conditions.


Comments

  1. AnonymousJanuary 14, 2010 at 9:14 PM

    Well, I disagree with you today. I choose to disagree because love, I have come to learn, is nourished through mutual experiences. If it is not about feelings, then it is utopic. Allow me to think that you didn't consider love in all its aspects.

    ReplyDelete
  2. kirimoJanuary 14, 2010 at 9:16 PM

    Thanks for your kind comments and for disagreeing. I think you are right to say that I didn't consider love in all its aspects. In fact, this post was not meant to exhaust the topic. Now, would you please explain how love is "all about feelings"?

    ReplyDelete

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